thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
