Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
