bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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