the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
