I heard we made out
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
