My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
