We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize