and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
