it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
