I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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