separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize