i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize