Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
