'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
