Bisexual people are plain selfish.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
