Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize