Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
