im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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