Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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