Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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