Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
