The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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