I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
