did you get engaged???
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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