i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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