Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
