Dual....:-)
Plan B is the new Plan A
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
