It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
