Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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