piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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