The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am naked and annoyed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
