After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
