Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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