Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
