That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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