At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
