shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
