Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize