Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize