I'm drive I can fine osifer
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
