I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
