So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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