please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize
