The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize