He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just gift wrapped bread.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dear god my vagina.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
