You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Randomize
