The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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