i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
In America we eat man semen.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
