OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
