if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
