I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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