I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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