DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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