that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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