He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
