I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
