Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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