it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We are all done wearing pants today
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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