It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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