Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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