tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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