Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
