This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize